Real estate is an emotional business. Crazy emotional. It can be a boom-bust world of big wins, painful losses and lessons learned. It's a roller coaster, whipsaw, loop-de-loop lifestyle. And it gets the best of many of us.
Like anyone else who has done this full-time for 22 years, I've ridden the highs and the lows.
But after two decades, I've mellowed. I've learned that there's a lot of stuff that happens that is simply beyond my control. To be sure, those of you who know me know that to the best of my ability, I try to manage every variable that I can.
But sometimes, people or circumstances can simply lurch in ways that cannot be predicted.
Often, there's so much emotion wrapped up in a real estate transaction. Buyers are running up against the end of a lease, sellers are trying to navigate the challenges of moving kids during the school year, lenders are dealing with ridiculous underwriting requirements and appraisers are fearful that one bad appraisal could cost them their livelihood.
Agents worry about all of it. Trying to keep everyone moving in the same direction is like the proverbial herding of cats. But how you go about doing it, how you communicate with buyers, sellers, lenders, appraisers, attorneys, underwriters, title closers and everyone else involved in a real estate transaction... makes all the difference.
Real estate agents come with all sorts of emotional profiles... and I've met them all. You've got the controllers, the bullies, the ego-maniacs and the posers. You've got the paranoid (everything is bad), the inverse-paranoid (everything is good), and the bi-polar (everything is good... oh wait, everything is bad!).
But there are two profiles I look for above all else - the competent and the grateful.
Competence speaks for itself. Competent agents know how to solve problems when they arise, but they also know how to head small issues off before they become larger problems. They understand the contract, they understand the law, they understand the market and they understand human emotions. They usually sell a lot of houses, because their services are always in demand.
This is why I pay so much attention to who the other agent is when offers show up on my listings. The highest offer is not the best offer if the entire transaction is likely to end up in ditch, upside down with the tires spinning.
I'm looking for Proven Results (which happens to be the name of this blog). I'm looking for agents who know what they are doing, because guess what... good agents usually have educated, qualified, reasonable clients.
But there's another component to surviving this crazy business, and all too often I find it overlooked or missing entirely. It's gratitude, the simple realization that we are blessed to have the privilege to help people through this process with the opportunity to earn a good living along the way.
When I work with buyers, I take my responsibility to advocate for them very seriously. But at the same time, I remember that (under most circumstances) it's the seller who is paying the bulk of my commission.
Thus, whenever I have dialog with the other side of a transaction, it's always from a position of respect with a focus on solutions.
Seek and destroy negotiations are for losers. Zero sum games suck. Take-it-or-leave-it strategies should only be used as a last, final resort in the most dire of circumstances.
I don't want to hang out with people who build themselves up by tearing others down.
I don't want to hang out with people who build themselves up by tearing others down.
It's critically important that you surround yourself with people you actually want to be around. If you don't like the vibe you are getting from your clients, you should not be working with them.
Often, "no" is the most empowering word in the English language.
Often, "no" is the most empowering word in the English language.
I'm going to continue to sell a lot of houses. I'm going to approach this business with firmness, seriousness, competence and respect. And I'm also going to be grateful and I'm going to express that gratitude every chance I get.
Most people respond well to gratitude. It's disarming. It builds trust. It takes and shows confidence to express it. I'm grateful for the other agents, the hardworking lenders, and the clients on the other side of the deal.
That doesn't mean every transaction goes smoothly. But I'm not consciously going to give other people the power to determine how I feel. Gratitude will be my weapon of choice, and I will use it whenever possible to make people feel like they are meaningful, heard and respected.
